Paradox of Light and Shadows
by Ahzidal's Glory
Summary: Two people seeking revenge join the Dawnguard. Tharstan Dead-Bane left the Vigilants of Stendarr to stop the vampires. Marena has a darker reason to hate the Volkihar. What will happen when on a mission they encounter a woman in a stone sarcophagus? - Dawnguard Main Quest, altered
1. Prologue

Prologue

* * *

First the rumours ran through the streets, spreading quickly from Rifton to Ivarstead and Windhelm, Whiterun and Falkreath and Winterhold, Rorikstead and Dawnstar and Morthal, Markath and Dragonsbridge and Solitude. The words were soon followed by men and women in thick armour, who held speeches in the streets about shadows and undead creatures lurking in them. They went in the inns and told their stories, they handed pamphlets to the citizens, they talked to the people, and fear and hope grew in the hearts of Skyrim's children.

In one night, in Markath, a shadow sneaked out of the Hall of the Dead. Silent like a moth, it walked through the streets and no guard heard it. The shadow searched for something it finally found on the market square: a sheet of parchment, covered with words:

Vampires!

The creatures of the Night are in our middle!

They suck the life from Skyrim and her citizens!

But fear not – the

DAWNGUARD

Has risen again!

Join our fight

To liberate our Home!

Come to Fort Dawnguard in the Rift and vanquish the Evil!

For the first time the shadow made a noise: a quiet chuckle escaped its lips.

* * *

In the morning, several corpses were floating in the pond near the Cidhna Mine. From Markath in the direction of Rifton, bandits and Forsworn were attacked during the next two days. The silent killer left not a single drop of blood in the bodies. The last dead were found near Ivarstead, then the murders stopped as suddenly as they had begun.


	2. Chapter One: Long Journey

Chapter One

Long Journey

* * *

Nobody noticed Tharstan when he entered the crowded 'Bee and Barb' inn in Rifton. Everyone was either discussing the Dawnguard and the sudden vampire attacks on the bandits, or listening to Maramal. The Redguard, a priest of Mara, was holding a speech about the evil:

"…Mother Mara does not wish you to drink and to enjoy the pleasures of Nirn! In Aetherius you will suffer, this has always been the punishment of the Divines, but you have ignored Their warnings for too long! Now They have sent this plague to cleanse you from your sins. But They are not without mercy; come back in the temple and ask Lady Mara for forgiveness. Do good works in Her name and the Evil will vanish again! The Gods…"

Tharstan ignored the priest. The vampires had always been a problem, but the recreation of the Dawnguard had obviously been a challenge for them, and they couldn't resist the game. They grew bolder and bolder. While the silent murderers had decimated outlaws, others came in the cities and slaughtered the innocent citizens.

The Nord looked around, but the only empty seat was at a Breton's table. She was sitting silently in a corner and only occasionally sipping at her mead.

He walked over to her. "May I sit down?"

The woman nodded. "Sure."

The Argonian innkeeper came and brought Tharstan a bottle of mead and a stew. While he ate, the woman watched the crowd. Maramal had ended his speech but was now answering the various questions in his usual preacher's voice that boomed through the entire room. "Yes! Feed the poor! Give them money and clothes, and Lady Mara will smile at you…I'm sorry, Bolli, but your wife will have to look after herself. Your actions are not hers…Haelga, I don't know if Dibella will keep you safe…"

When Tharstan was finished with his meal, he started to feel uncomfortable. The stranger sat in silence, observing the people, so he had the time to look at her. She was about his age, with long black hair, amber eyes and a pretty face. She seemed too thin, but otherwise…

Suddenly the Breton turned her head and caught the Nord staring. He decided that it was a good moment to break the awkward silence between them, but she spoke first. "Marena Salian."

"Tharstan Dead-Bane."

Her eyes widened for a second, but then she smiled. "Dead-Bane? Do the people in Sovngarde fear you that much?"

He laughed. "No! I'm just good at killing Draugr, so my comrades started to call me like that. Undead-Bane was too clumsy, they said."

"Are these comrades hiding somewhere around?"

"No. We were Vigilantes of Stendarr."

"Oh." She seemed shocked. "I'm sorry…"

"It's okay." Tharstan managed to keep his face calm, although the memories came again, of fire and blood and howling death hounds. "Most of my friends survived the vampire's attack, but afterwards I decided to join the Dawnguard. And here I am, ready to kill some leeches!" The last statement should have sounded powerful, but the words felt wrong and faked.

"Well, then we can go together." He must have looked puzzled, for she smiled. "I'm going to 'vanquish the Evil!'", she said, taking a sheet of parchment out of her pocket. It was one of the pamphlets the Dawnguard had spread in Skyrim. "I'm an alchemist and plus, I'm pretty good with a dagger."

Tharstan's brow furrowed. "Why do you want to join?"

She shrugged and took the last sip from her bottle. "Stuff that happened a long, long time ago." Her face stayed emotionless, but her eyes shone for a moment. "I'll go to bed now and depart at dusk."

"Why?"

Marena smiled. "I want to know why it's called 'Dayspring Canyon'."

* * *

Shortly after the end of the day, Tharstan came out of his chamber. Marena had been waiting for the Nord and greeted him friendly. She was quite happy to travel with him. Company would distract her from worrying about the thousand possible ways her plan could fail.

The Breton waited for him while he washed his face in a barrel with clean water next to the door, then they walked out of Rifton. Soon they had settled in a quick pace and silence fell over them, but now they felt quite comfortable with it.

From time to time, Marena cast a quick glance in Tharstan's direction. He had dirty blond, short cut hair and brown eyes in a typical Nord face with a strong jaw. One and a half heads taller than her. About twenty-five years old, she guessed. Tharstan was still clad like a Vigilant, in a set of Novice robes without a hood, plain steel gauntlets and boots, and armed with a steel mace. She wondered if he had any experience in fighting vampires.

As if he had read her thoughts, he turned his head to her. "Aren't you afraid of leeches? It's night, after all."

She laughed. "There are a few reasons why not. We carry torches - vampires are extremely weakened by fire. Then, you still look like a Vigilant. And we are near Fort Dawnguard, no?" _Oh, and last but most definitely not least, they can smell me._

"Yes, we are nearly past the mountain. There's a watchtower called Stendarr's Beacon to the south and it more or less guards the entrance to the Dayspring Canyon."

"Good."

After another hour their surroundings began to change. Snow covered the ground, it grew colder, and the colourful autumn trees were replaced by tall dark giants with needles instead of leaves. Tharstan explained that mountains to the south made it much colder than in the heart of the Rift.

"There!", he said and pointed. On a rocky hill a stunted tower was standing, clearly visible in the light of aurora and moons. "Would you mind if we rest here for some time? I think dawn is still two hours away and we're nearly at the fort."

"Sure."

At Stendarr's Beacon they were greeted by three Vigilants who offered them a hot drink and a place at the fire. While Tharstan accepted immediately and began to swap stories with his old comrades, Marena decided to take a look at the rest of the tower. There wasn't much to see, though. A solid two-storey stone building which looked even more stunted because of its big diameter. She was still able to overlook a good part of the environment and for some time she just enjoyed the view while the Vigilants chattered downstairs.

When she was halfway on the stairs again, she felt a sudden weakness invade her body. Her vision blurred for a moment, and her knees were no longer able to hold her weight. She stumbled and nearly fell before she could steady herself by grabbing the stone wall. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath in order to clam herself. _It's nothing,_ she thought. _Just the same like every morning. Already over._

Tharstan had risen from his seat, ready to help her. "Are you okay?"

She opened her eyes again. "It's nothing. Thank you, but I'm fine. Can we go on?"

"If you are well enough..."

"I said I'm _fine."_

Her mood slowly got worse while they continued their journey. They walked a short distance and then stopped in front of a cave. She looked at Tharstan. "Is that the gate to the Dayspring Canyon?"

"Hm. I have to admit I've also imagined it more..."

"Grand? Magnificent? Intimidating? Less reeking of troll dung?"

"Hm."

* * *

When they left the short passage, Tharstan first thought they had entered another, higher cave, but then he looked up. He nudged Marena - who was complaining about something sticking to her boot - with the elbow and pointed up. "Look!"

They were standing on a narrow path flanked at both sides by high cliffs that nearly touched overhead. Between the rocks the brightening sky was visible. After a few hundred meters the passage ahead widened to a valley. There was a lake, and waterfalls on the southern cliffs. The valley continued in the east, from which the morning sun was shining and its light was shattered in the thin spray of drops to a hundred colours. The air was warm and the trees surrounding the lake bore the autumn colours on their leaves.

Marena was smiling. "Beautiful", she whispered.

For a while they just enjoyed the view. The red, pink, and golden lights of the dawn slowly faded from the sky and left it bright, blue, and clear of clouds.

Suddenly they heard a voice from behind: "Oh, hey there! You here to join the Dawnguard, too?"

When Tharstan turned around, he saw a young Nord - maybe eighteen - in farmer's clothes and with a war axe at his belt. He had chin-long blond hair and a nervous expression on his face.

"Yes", answered Marena after a short pause.

"Truth is, I'm a little nervous. I've never done anything like this before. I hope you don't mind if I walk up with you."

"Sure."

The man smiled. "Oh, good. I'm Agmaer, by the way."

"Tharstan Dead-Bane, nice to meet you."

"Marena Salian."

The three people began to walk east through the valley and after some time stood in front of Fort Dawnguard. For a while they just stood there.

"I thought a 'fort' is a small castle", said Agmaer.

Tharstan laughed. "Well, Marena, I guess this fulfills your requirements."

"Hm?"

"Grand, magnificent, intimidating, no troll dung."

The fort - castle would have been more appropriate - was a gigantic structure of smooth, curved stone towering over them. It seemed to have a big platform on the roof and several watchtowers. Around was a garden with some vegetables and a training area where an orc was fumbling with a strange thing made of metal and wood. Tharstan had no idea what it was, but Marena's eyes began to shine.

"Is that a crossbow?"

"Hah! Yes", said the orc. At the puzzled expression of the two men he grunted. "Special Dawnguard weapon. Makes a hole through steel, wood, bone, and leeches. But you ought to go inside, talk to Isran."

At the door, they saw another Dawnguard member, a Breton with red hair and beard. He introduced himself as Celann.

"New recruits, hmm? Isran will decide if you've got what it takes. Go on, he's inside." He stepped aside and Tharstan opened the gate.

**AN: Sorry for any mistakes, I'm not a native speaker and I'm writing in the Doc Manager, so I have no correction software. Also sorry for the messed chapter numbers, but I don't like the Prologue to be together with the first chapter.**

**I'd really appreciate a review.**

**Thanks for reading.**


	3. Chapter Two: Bolts

Chapter Two

Bolts

* * *

Agmaer, Marena, and Tharstan entered. A huge circular hall was in front of them. Sunlight shone through an opening in the roof far above them. Crates were lined on the walls, some opened, some still closed. But none of the three noticed anything of theeir surroundings; their eyes were drawn to the man in the center of the hall.

A Redguard, already past his prime but still with heavy muscles visible under his thick armour, a clean shaven head and a black beard, and piercing silver eyes was scowling at them. The heft of a huge war-hammer poked over his shoulder. Isran, probably. He began to speak: "So who are you? What do you want?"

_That voice..._ Marena's guts seemed to be grabbed by an invisible fist and wrenched around a few times. The blood was pounding in her ears but couldn't drown the soft yet rasping voice out. It was a bad, horrible, unbelievably stupid idea to just walk in and join the Dawnguard. _What was I thinking?_ But if she got her revenge, it maybe, maybe would be worth it. She took a deep breath and was relieved when she noticed Agmaer's fear. At least she wasn't the only one who was scared of Isran.

"Answer."

Tharstan gulped audibly and took a step forward. "We want to join the Dawnguard."

"Got a fire in your belly to kill vampires, eh? Good for you. But look around - there's really not much to join yet. I've only just started rebuilding the order." He snorted. "Well, you're a beginning. What's your name?"

"Tharstan Dead-Bane."

"Dead-Bane? We'll see. Former Vigilant, eh?"

Tharstan nodded.

"I was one, long ago. They laughed at me for being prepared, 'exteme' as they called it. Too soft, all of them. And look where it got them."

"Many good fighters died during the attack!"

"Being 'good' doesn't help if you're not ready. I'm sorry for their deaths but it's a hard world we live in. Always prepared for the worst, that's why I'm still alive and that's what we need. But at least you came here. Maybe you're not as weak as the others. And who are your companions?"

Marena took a tiny step forwards. "My name is Marena Salian."

Isran stared right in her eyes for an eternity, in which she tried to keep calm, show no weakness, and give nothing away. Finally he grunted. "You've got fire. What can you do?"

"I'm an alchemist and..." Good with a dagger? That sounded ridiculous.

"Hmph. We'll find something for you. Alchemist? We don't have a lab yet but it's already ordered and ought to arrive tomorrow. Then you can start brewing."

"I..." She licked her lips. "I had actually hoped to be rather active."

"And what could a scholar possibly do on the field? Throw books?"

"I'm a fast learner. I mean - not only with books."

"We'll see. You there, boy. Stop skulking in the shadows and step up here. What's your name?"

Agmaer had slowly backed away to the entrance. Now he was forced to do a tiny step forwards."I'm, uh... my name is Agmaer, sir."

Isran scowled even more. "Do I look like a 'sir' to you, boy? I'm not a soldier, and you're not joining the army."

"Yes, si... " He managed to correct himself and almost whispered: "Isran."

"Didn't I tell you to step forward? Hmm... Farm boy, eh? What's your weapon?"

"Uh, my weapon? I mostly just use my pa's axe, when wolves are attacking the goats...or...something." His voice grew quieter with every word.

"'My pa's axe', Stendarr preserve us." The Redguard sighed. "Don't worry, I think we can make a Dawnguard out of you." He walked to a crate and pulled out three crossbows. "Here. Help yourself to some bolts and later armour, maybe. Durak" - the grey-haired orc who told them about the crossbows in front of the castle had entered - "will show you how to use them."

Each recruit received a heavy weapon and grabbed a dozen short bolts, then the Orc led them through the castle. It was pretty dark. The hallways and rooms were big, with a high ceiling, the walls lined with crates and barrels. Yet it seemed rather empty. Marena managed to look in what was probably the dormitory, a huge room that contained less than a dozen field beds. She wondered how many members the Dawnguard actually had, and if they were enough for her goal. Well, time would tell.

Durak led them past the dormitory down a hallway, until they arrived in a huge cave. In one corner was a small training area with a few dummies. Marena spotted some kind of entrance, probably leading farther in the mountains. Suddenly she jumped at the sound of aggressive barking and growling. At one side of the cave was an animal pen.

The orc scowled at the noise. "I'm sorry. Sceolang and Bran are trained to spot the scent of a Vampire. Something must've upset them. Anyone afraid of dogs? You know they smell fear."

Marena tried to smile. "I've had some unpleasant encounters with hounds. The kind that leaves bite marks."

"Still, they shouldn't react that way. Don't you worry, they're locked away. You first."

"What?"

Durak took the crossbow from her. While holding the weapon in his left hand, he took a bolt in his right and put it in a narrow slot, at the same time grabbing a lever and pulling it back. The bowstring was drawn tight. He raised the crossbow, aimed, and pulled the trigger. The bolt hit one of the dummies in the bull's eye painted on its straw-filled belly. Then the orc reloaded and shot agin but this time much faster in one fluid motion that spoke of long practice. The next dummy received a bolt between the eyes.

"Here. Let's see how you're doing."

Marena mimicked Durak's moves. Her hand was quivering under the weight of the crossbow, but after some fumbling she managed to place a bolt in the slot. Drawing the string back was even harder. She decided to aim for the dummy's chest, lifted the weapon to eye-level, and pulled the trigger. The crossbow jerked and nearly flew from her arms while the bolt missed the target completely. The Breton sighed, but Durak's eyebrow rose.

"Not bad, for the start. Raise the weapon again." He adjusted the way she held the crossbow. "Legs farther apart. Again", he commanded.

This time, she managed to keep the heavy thing under control while the bolt ripped off half the dummy's face. Marena groaned - she had aimed for the chest again.

"Keep training. First time is never easy. Next!"

Marena watched with growing envy as Agmaer hit the dummy twice, once in the chest and once in the groin. The young Nord's smile was as broad as the Fort and his anxiety had obviously vanished when Durak beckoned Tharstan to give it a try.

It made her ridiculously happy to see he was even worse than her. "I think I'll stay with my mace", he murmured after the fifth missed shot.

"We also have some axes with special enchantments against leeches for you boys", said Durak. " 'course you can try it too, Marena. Well, it's almost noon and I'm sure the others want to get to know you. What do you think about an early lunch?"

The two men eagerly nodded, but Marena said: "Can I stay here for a while and practice? I'd like to do a few more shots."

The orc shrugged. "Suit yourself. The dining hall is just down the long corridor."

When they had left, Marena briefly closed her eyes. This was going to be harder than she had expected, but she didn't know what else to do.

_...valuable..._

The long time had left the memory of_ him_ unmarred; she could still see the smirk on his pale face while he looked at her with these eyes, feel how it stripped her soul bare until she felt like nothing more than the worm she was compared to him.

_...as long as you desire..._

Oh, she had recalled his words so often they seemed almost meaningless to her. He hadn't lied that day when he granted her immunity _until you leave my realm._

The other's voice mixed into _his, _shouting: _No, not that one, icebrain! Didn't you listen? She's not to be harmed._

Marena opened her eyes. She readied her weapon without really paying attention.

She imagined _he_ was standing there at the platform.

He was smiling.

The bolt hit the dummy between the eyes.

_A/N: Uh...sorry? For both the delay and the rather uneventful chapter._

_HappyHamster: Thanks both for the advice and the encouragement._

_I'd like to hear your opinion. And any suggestions on chapter names._


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